Personals Ad
Luscious blonde Renaissance woman seeks Medici-style male human
(Or alternatively, single man with time upon his hands)
For the joys of conversation; food and drink; denunciation
Of the follies of the age and of all major sporting brands.
Should I mention the attraction of a little fresh attention
From a lady who can spell “phenomenon” without a qualm?
I can wow a group of fogies with a discourse on the Logies
And have torn in half a copy of The Little Book of Calm.
Otherwise I am all mildness; I am unwed and quite childless
And I’ve made my way alone, well used to living on my wits.
Though by God with bounties showered, I’m afraid I am undowered
Save for brains and natural cunning and a decent set of secondary sexual characteristics.
You’re articulate and well-read; you don’t have to be a breadhead
And I’m used to men who simply don’t put down the toilet lid.
With things cultural I’m au courant; I look good in Yves St Laurent
(Which I buy from second-hand shops for a princely seven quid).
Naturally a lady splendid such as me has sometimes tended
To stray off the beaten track, but I am nearly thirty-nine.
And my family is numerous; they are loud and fat and humorous—
I’m afraid you’re stuck with all of them; I’m sure you’ll get on fine.
I’ve a soft spot for agnostics, specially those who do acrostics—
None for those who call the clergyman a pilot of the sky—
I have faith with which to back this, for I’m Catholic and I practise
But I haven’t got it right yet. Nonetheless, I like to try.
You are young at heart and grounded; not a poseur, not dumbfounded
And a sense of humour, obviously, is going to be required.
Otherwise I’m not galumphing; just as long as you do something—
You’re employed, or self-employed, or astronaut, or plain retired.
I have met with divers fellows with bad cases of the yellows
And a universal tendency to leave one high and dry.
And I think that this should end here, which is why I must append here:
Previous applicants for this position need not re-apply.
Philippa Martyr
Madam: Archbishop Fisher (July-August 2024) does not resist the attacks on his church by the political, social or scientific atheists and those who insist on not being told what to do.
Aug 29 2024
6 mins
To claim Aborigines have the world's oldest continuous culture is to misunderstand the meaning of culture, which continuously changes over time and location. For a culture not to change over time would be a reproach and certainly not a cause for celebration, for it would indicate that there had been no capacity to adapt. Clearly this has not been the case
Aug 20 2024
23 mins
A friend and longtime supporter of Quadrant, Clive James sent us a poem in 2010, which we published in our December issue. Like the Taronga Park Aquarium he recalls in its 'mocked-up sandstone cave' it's not to be forgotten
Aug 16 2024
2 mins