Let it not be said that Narsissus Turncoatius directed his devious intrigues only against leaders and allies of his own faction. When it came to breaking promises and repudiating private pacts, this was one emperor who could double-deal without fear or partisan favour

Only a great man can stop the sky from falling, just as the highest astrologers assured the new Emperor it surely would unless many, many billions of sesterces in subsidies and grants were distributed to their closest associates and friends

With so many mirrors in the Lodgerium to enthrall the Emperor and command his rapt attention, there was little time left for contemplating the security of the realm. Luckily, Cleavagepatra Henbrayne's strange gifts for tactics and geography were there to be tapped

The greatest orator of his age (by his own estimation), the new emperor was at a rare loss for words. Well, one word anyway -- the six letters which capture decency of character, trustworthiness, fealty and honesty. Alas, grope as he might, those concepts were entirely beyond his ken

Once his predecessor's bloody corpse had been dragged from the Forum, the new emperor focused his intellect -- "immense and awesome", as the Fair Fax prostitutes always described it -- on the great orations of his past, not least his fulsome praise for the tyrant of Tien An Men