Kiss Kiss

(Frankly, I don’t think Byron was like that at all; I think he was a pussy cat.)

Kiss me quick, then kiss me slow and when the kissing stops

Tell me how I’m wonderful and tell me how I’m tops,

Tell me how there’s nothing else quite like me in the shops,

For you’re mad, bad and dangerous to know.

I’ve scrubbed my face, I’ve brushed my hair, my clothes are all well spruced,

I’ve seen the plays of Shakespeare and I’ve read the works of Proust,

I don’t want education, I just want to be seduced,

For you’re mad, bad and dangerous to know.

Tell me I’m adventure, and then tell me I’m romance,

Tell me I’m the real McCoy, the true piss-elegance,

Take down my particulars and then take down my pants,

For you’re mad, bad and dangerous to know.

Sex is sleazy, sex is easy, sex is in the air,

Kiss me nice and kiss me twice and kiss me everywhere,

Whisper little words of Love and tell me that you care,

For you’re mad, bad and dangerous to know.

Sex is flirty, sex is dirty, sex is like the drink,

Sex is what you shouldn’t do and shouldn’t even think,

A dirty mind can make you blind and mine is on the blink,

For you’re mad, bad and dangerous to know.

Slugs and snails and puppy tails is perfect for the boys:

You’re short on tact and subtlety, you’re short on grace and poise,

You’re long on making trouble and on making lots of noise,

For you’re mad, bad and dangerous to know.

They’ve told me you’re a habit that it’s difficult to break.

They’re right. Too right they’re bloody right. It’s all a huge mistake.

I know I’m irresponsible. I know you’re on the make,

For you’re mad, bad and dangerous to know.

Round and round the music goes, the world goes round and round,

Forever and forever with a slinky sort of sound. 

I keep my balance better when my feet are off the ground,

For you’re mad, bad and dangerous to know,

Just so.

Yes, you’re mad, bad and dangerous to know.