Indicate, Mate

The smell of the Falcon’s interior irritated the hairs up Lyn’s nose. She sniffed deeply regardless, as though savouring a freshly poured glass of her favourite sauvignon blanc. Twice-worn socks, stale sandwiches and was that a hint of actual cat’s piss she detected? Lyn wasn’t surprised. The seller had been a twenty-five-year-old tradie. The orange-and-grey hi-vis shirt streaked with grease gave it away when she and Cody had pulled up to take the car for a test drive. It wasn’t her idea of a first set of wheels but her son had done all the research online and as far as he was concerned he had found the best deal going. She had to hand it to him, for a teenager who mostly grunted he’d put up a convincing argument. She and his dad, Ben, had at least agreed to take him for a look. It was a shame Ben couldn’t make it on the day: work had called him in and she’d been left to suss it out, terrified about buying a lemon.

The car ran fine, purred even. A real gas guzzler, obviously, but Cody had assured them he would fork out for the gas using money earned from his part-time job at Marco’s pizza shop. His eyes had shone at the sight of it. Literally, Lyn could see tears of joy welling in her boy who was still learning to keep his emotions under control. Cody couldn’t see the hastily painted-over nicks of rust, nor the shallow dent on the back left door. All he had eyes for was freedom as the tradie lifted the hood and Cody pretended he knew what was what. For her part, the ocean green colour dashed with silver rust paint reminded Lyn of an abalone shell. They’d gone for a test drive around the block. Nothing had fallen off and more importantly no rattling came from the engine.

Still, when Cody had handed over the wodge of cash—half his own savings and half hers and Ben’s—she’d held her breath. The transaction felt monumental somehow. She’d had to leave her own hatchback on the weed-covered kerb so they could drive “The Beast” as Cody christened it home. She, Ben, Cody and Shelley their daughter had then returned after Ben got home to retrieve it. There was no sign of the tradie. The boys had stayed in the Falcon as the girls clambered into the hatchback. Was that how they were going to travel now, in a gendered convoy?

But today the earth had re-tilted and they were back to being mother and son about to tackle Cody’s first roundabout on his third driving lesson.

Stay calm. Keep it together.

Were their thoughts in unison? Lyn wondered. She glanced over at him, only for a nanosecond. It was important to keep both eyes on the road at all times. This could actually be their last moment on earth together if he stuffed it up.

If Cody felt the same way, he wasn’t showing it. He’d wound the driver’s side window down despite a frigid July breeze and stuck his right elbow up on the ledge. Was he actually bobbing his head to an imaginary beat?

Lyn didn’t like any of it one bit. He’d reached down to turn on the radio and she’d resolutely flicked it off and pinned a hard frown on him. Concentrate, kid! He wasn’t taking the lesson seriously enough.

Calm down. Anxiety is not the solution. We’re going to make it.

“Slow down a bit.”

“Mum, stop telling me what to do.”

“Okay, but please slow down. You have to give way.”

“I know!” Cody swung his assured, pimply face round and shot her an exasperated glare, the same one he’d repeatedly been giving her over the entire course of his short existence.

She felt powerless to withhold the ingrained compulsion to instruct. “Keep your eyes on the road!”

“Mum!”

Deep, deep breath. The roundabout sat like a large concrete disc only twenty metres ahead. She had about three seconds to get the mood back under control.

All senses screaming, looking right for oncoming traffic, Lyn nodded. Coast was clear.

Cody plunged a heavy foot onto the brake. The car juddered three times before he reselected the accelerator and they glided through to escape out the other side.

Lyn’s sigh of relief was audible. “Good work. Get into the right lane now. We’ll turn into Warrimoo Street and head towards the plaza.”

Cody grunted. Lyn hoped it was an indication that he understood.

Grunt and yell, grunt and yell, that’s all he ever did. Lyn judged the curve of his cheek and its gingery suggested stubble. She missed him even though he was sitting right beside her. Where did you go, little man?

“Mum, stop staring. You’re putting me off.”

Chastened, Lyn resumed gazing at the punctuated white centre lines the Falcon was quickly swallowing.

A horn blasted, obnoxiously loud and very close.

They jumped in unison and Cody lurched the car halfway into the dual carriageway’s left lane. Lyn let him, too shaken to make a reminder to check in the rear-vision.

A man in a dusty white ute roared past, well over the speed limit.

“Arsehole!” Lyn shouted, heart pumping. Settling back into her seat and willing her cortisol levels down, she noticed Cody grinning. “What? He was.”

“Go, Mum.”

“Get back in the right lane again and slow down ready to turn. Don’t forget to indicate, mate.”

Cody smoothly executed the turn. The longer they were in the car the more relaxed Lyn found herself, despite the pungency. It was a pleasant surprise to find her son proving himself fairly competent.

“I’ve been thinking about what to do when I leave school.”

Lyn blinked, said nothing.

“Yeah, I mean, I don’t know if I’ll get in but I think I want to go to uni and do engineering.”

“Makes sense. You’ve always been good at designing and making stuff.” Lyn ignored her internal voice; you’ll have to study a bloody sight more than you currently are, Cody. His admission was a precious gift, as delicate as a small ember trying to ignite on a pile of ashes. The past six months had been hard on the poor dude. First, he’d lost his granny and then Penny broke up with him. He’d folded in on himself for a while. Thank god the footy season had finally started back up to give him something else to focus on.

Lyn was also grateful boredom had kicked in during Cody’s self-imposed exile and he’d ended up slowly making his way through the online modules to gain his learner’s licence, even though she’d have preferred he put more effort into his school work.

Jindalee Plaza with its multicoloured neon signboard indicating a mish-mash of small businesses within loomed up ahead.

“Yeah, like, Jake’s going and Riley, too. I might as well at least try.”

“I think it sounds like a great idea.”

“Really?”

Lyn was surprised to hear the uncertainty in her son’s voice, seeking reassurance from her in the same way he used to when he was little. She knew she was walking a tightrope elevated twenty metres in the air. A little too much enthusiasm for his idea and she would dangerously wobble to the right, not enough and she’d swing crazily to the left. It was so important to maintain focus and stay perfectly balanced if she didn’t want to lose her grip. She shrugged and kept her eyes on the road. “Yep, I do.”

Cody nodded, happy. “Which way now?”

“Want to keep going for a bit longer?”

“Yeah, okay.”

Lyn directed him to take a left at the lights. They’d managed to travel all the way over to the far side of town. Two more blocks and they’d be out on the open road heading into the country on a fairly straight road for the next ten kilometres. He’d earned the right to put The Beast through its paces.

Lyn watched the wind lap waves across the hectares of long golden grass. “Dad and I used to come out here when we started going out.”

“Really, why? No, don’t tell me.” Cody pulled a face.

Lyn lightly bumped her fist against his shoulder. “Ha, ha. We had friends who used to live out this way, actually. They had a small farm. We used to go and ride motorbikes, have parties, that sort of thing.”

“Hard to imagine you and Dad doing stuff like that.”

“Why?”

“I dunno. You’re always so sensible.”

“Yeah, well, have to be now.” Lyn smiled. She missed being carefree but Cody and Shelley were worth it. She had no regrets. “Take care on the bends just in case there’re any escaped livestock.”

Cody adjusted his hands on the wheel, sat up straighter with concentration. The Falcon rumbled consistently beneath their seats. It was a smooth ride.

She could tell he was really enjoying himself. She had to admit she was, too. The road snaked around a hillock in the distance. It was time to find a safe spot for him to turn around and head back. Ben would be wondering where they’d got to: worried, more like. The road began to start winding from there on in. She didn’t want to push on and risk getting stressed which in turn would poke Cody’s hair-trigger temper. Hopefully there would be a wide driveway somewhere after they got around the corner. “Take your foot off the accelerator now. Push back down after you’ve made the turn and you’ll pull right through the curve.”

Cody followed her instructions and was almost there when he swung the wheel violently right. The wheels skidded on gravel. He swung hard left and fishtailed past crumpled motorbike debris scattered across the entire left lane before getting back on track. “Holy shit!”

Up ahead the rider lay motionless on the tarmac and just beyond a white ute was parked nose-deep in the ditch.

“Pull over up there.” Lyn pointed.

Cody slid like a snail and stopped.

Lyn wrenched the passenger door open and stepped out onto the verge, her hands shaking as she released her grip on the handle. She took a deep breath to steady herself. “Call an ambulance.”

She strode towards the ute. The man who’d rudely honked his horn at them only ten minutes earlier sat in the driver’s seat in front of a crumpled airbag, with blood dripping from his face.

“You all right?” Lyn heard the gruffness in her own voice.

The man nodded. “Is the rider … okay?”

She wanted to hate the arrogant bastard. He was all that was wrong in the world where mothers tried desperately to protect their children from creeps and lunatics. Instead, pity filled her heart. He was pathetic but someone, somewhere loved him, too.

“He came out of nowhere. I didn’t have time to stop.”

Just because Lyn felt sorry for him didn’t mean she wanted to stick around and hear his excuses. “I’m going to check now. My son’s calling the ambulance. Sit tight.”

Lyn marched on until she came to the motorcyclist. The helmet visor hid the guy’s face. She crouched and saw the chest gently rise and fall. She carefully slid the cracked visor up. “Jesus.” A young woman, eyebrows perfectly plucked, squinted against the bright light. Lyn adjusted herself so her shadow blocked out the worst of the sun, letting the victim see. Pure fear stared back at her.

“Hi, I’m Lyn. You’ve been in an accident but the ambulance is on its way.”

“The ute … wrong side …”

“What’s your name, hon?”

The girl took four shallow breaths, one for each syllable. “O-li-vi-a.”

“Okay, Olivia, I’m going to stay with you until the ambulance gets here. It won’t be long.” Lyn hunkered down on the hard surface and grabbed the girl’s hand. She couldn’t be much older than twenty, if that. “Don’t try to move. Just hang in there. Tell me about yourself. Have you got any family?” Lyn tried to ignore the ominous corner less than sixty metres in front of them. A car coming around it too quickly would end them both in an instant.

“Mum, I got through.” Cody arrived breathlessly and peered over her shoulder. “Oh, shit!”

“Cody, run up around the corner, will you? Be careful. Flag down the cars and make them stop. Let them know what’s happened.”

Cody took off running. His shocked outburst hadn’t helped the motorcyclist. Her breath became shallower, faster, panicked.

Lyn got right up in the girl’s face and thought of Shelley. She’d want someone to care about her daughter if, god forbid, she was ever in trouble. “Look at me, Olivia. It’s going to be okay. What’s your mum’s name?”

“Janet.”

“Your dad?”

“Mike.”

“Stay with me. They’ll be waiting for you when you get to the hospital. You’re going to be all right.”

Lyn let her eyes traverse the soft ridges of the woman’s leather-clad body. She had all the right gear on for riding. None of it had stopped her right arm and leg from breaking. An entire strip of fabric had been ripped from her thigh to expose raw flesh beneath. Lyn snapped her attention back up to the helmet.

Her patient began to moan. “It hurts.”

“I know. You’ve had a nasty crash. Stay still. The ambulance is coming.” She sounded like a parrot. The ambulance is coming, the ambulance is coming. Where was the thing? She knew the hospital was a good ten-minute drive away, but still.

Tears spilled down Olivia’s cheeks and soaked into the padding inside her helmet. Her skin had turned pale and slick. That baby was just on the verge of the rest of her life, thought Lyn. Minding her business taking a Sunday ride, danger would have been a mere afterthought. Lyn remembered being twenty. She’d thought herself immortal. It was shocking to understand how wrong she had been.

The girl began struggling to keep her eyes open.

“Hey, don’t go to sleep.”

On the final blink Olivia’s eyes stayed shut. Lyn tightly squeezed her cold hand and resisted the urge to shake her. Crazily, she wanted to burst into song; something loud and boppy to keep the girl alert.

Olivia’s chest failed to rise.

A distant siren pierced the air above the rustling grass and chaotic birdsong.

“Olivia. Stay with me. The ambulance is almost here.”

She couldn’t. She’d gone.

Lyn swayed back on her heels. Rage, helplessness and a wave of grief crashed down as she hung her head in defeat. Poor Janet and Mike. They, too, were parents who had done their best to keep their child whole for two decades. They probably thought they were out of the danger zone. Their lives were over as well.

Blue and red lights flashed off the rocky cliff hugged by the corner. Her thoughts fell to Cody. What a team.

The ambos leapt out and crowded around. Lyn scrambled out of their way as they fruitlessly worked on Olivia’s crumpled body.

She frantically searched the faces of the strangers who had gathered around: rural people who had walked down long driveways to see what the fuss was about, police who had followed the ambulance, and other drivers whose curiosity had got the better of them as they waited up around the corner. Where was her son? He was gone!

Long arms wrapped around her shoulders and she shuddered with primal, instinctive relief. He was there. He was safe. She let him lead her back to their car, still parked on the verge with both front doors flung open. A police officer ambled over to take their statements. Cody did most of the talking because Lyn couldn’t, not after she saw the dazed ute driver being lifted into the back of the ambulance.

They’d switched sides. Lyn started the engine but sat unmoving. A loud gasp escaped her lips and she realised she’d been holding her breath.

“You okay, Mum?”

Lyn nodded when she really wanted to shake her head. Still rattled, she slowly slid the car into first, ignored Cody’s concerned look and executed a tight three-point turn. Up around the bend five cars sat idling in a queue. Two were abandoned, their nosy-parker occupants still off lingering at the carnage site. From the last three, curious faces watched from behind their windows, safe inside with their warm heaters.

Lyn pulled over on Warrimoo Street. “You want to drive for the last part?” She figured their incident should be likened to getting back on a horse after being kicked off. If Cody didn’t do it now, he mightn’t want to do it again. She couldn’t take the risk.

Cody pinched his lips between his teeth. “Yeah, all right.”

They wordlessly passed each other in front of the grill. She didn’t offer advice because she absolutely trusted he already knew.

 

Cody turned off the ignition and they sat side by side in the driveway, calmed by the silence.

The garage door creaked up even though neither of them had pressed the button. Inside the cavernous area stood Ben with anticipation written all over his face.

Lyn heard the groan come out of her son, short and agonised.

Ben slapped the bonnet and opened the passenger door. He leaned over and stuck his head in to give Lyn a customary welcome-home kiss. “You survived!” His grin dropped. He wasn’t expecting stony silence. “Hey, what’s up? Everything okay?”

Cody climbed out from behind the wheel to stretch his long, elastic body. He roughly slammed the door shut. The jolt did nothing for Lyn’s cracked nerves.

“Hey, watch it. Don’t forget to thank your mother.”

Cody said nothing; he stalked into the garage instead.

Ben stood up, bemused. “Mate!”

Lyn stopped her husband from his escalating temper by touching her fingers to the sun-kissed hairs on his forearm. They exchanged a telepathic look.

Cody re-emerged and bolted like a bull to the passenger side.

Lyn watched Ben reactively bristle.

Cody flung his arms roughly around his dad’s waist and planted his sandy-coloured head on his broad chest.

“Steady on. I know your mother’s a pretty tough instructor but it can’t have been that bad. You’ll get the hang of it.”

Huge sobs wrenched themselves from his sixteen-year-old frame as Cody lifted his streaky face. “You’ve got no idea. She was bloody amazing, Dad.”

Yes, I was, thought Lyn. And so were you.

Joanna Beresford is a freelance writer and English teacher based in Queensland. More of her work can be found at www.joannaberesford.com.