The Cardinal Rule of Port-Canted Justice

Conservatives are now being locked up on the strength of evidence that isn’t, so it’s probably time for all of us on the Right to consider our own situations and make the necessary plans.

Personally, I’m hopeful of only being stitched up for some kind of low-level white-collar offences, since I’m only a journalist and can’t realistically be placed in any historical circumstance that would see me, for example, accused of capturing young people in a cathedral and raping them.

But you never know. I do spend a lot of time in Texas, just about every year, so it is conceivable I might find myself dealing with decades-old chainsaw massacre allegations. Maybe I’ll be accused of breaching the 1836 Treaties of Velasco, or be implicated in the gruesome and unsolved 1965 Houston ice-box murders. (For the record, I was just two months old when Fred and Edwina Rogers were chopped up and refrigerated. Given the way jury verdicts can go, however, my high-powered legal team is busily…