How to offend Julia Gillard

Today in Parliament, Julia Gillard very obligingly gave us a guide on how to offend her. Here’s how:

• say her father died of shame
• say that abortion is the easy way out
• imply that she’s a liar
• stand next to a sign saying "Ditch the Witch"

Fair enough. Admittedly, I was a tad surprised to find out just how easy it was to offend Julia Gillard. I thought she was tough and was beating those mean and nasty men of Parliament at their own game; apparently not.

But perhaps she’s tougher than we think. Here’s a list of ways in which, thus far, it has proven impossible to offend Julia Gillard:

• call lady bits by offensive names when sexting Commonwealth employees
• steal hundreds of thousands of workers’ money via a union slush fund
• use union money to pay for prostitutes and lavish curry dinners
• have an affair with a married man
• make racist comments about your builders and renovators
• stab a duly elected Prime Minister in the back because you’re worried…