Turnbull’s Greatest Plus

turnbull death's head IINews that Bill Shorten has a book coming out sent me racing for my dictionary and thesaurus.  Otherwise, how on Earth would I be able to comprehend several hundred pages of Billspeak?

Can it be four years since loyal Bill declared on Sky News that he supported what his then-leader, Julia Gillard, said about Peter Slipper, while not actually knowing what it was?  So, when it came to the crucial leadership vote between Gillard and Rudd, Bill supported Rudd.  He said he didn’t think it was his job to be a “public worrywart” in the lead up to the spill.  But he seems to have done a good job of that since!

Bill was elected Leader of the Opposition by 40.08% of Australian Labor Party Members.  If only the rules didn’t insist on his Parliamentary colleagues having a deciding vote.  As Bill said at the time “party members have provided us with unequivocal support” — except for the other 59.92%.

This is the Bill who says he’ll “put people first”.   Where else would you put them?  Down a fairy penguin’s burrow?   Second to the robots or wheelie bins?

Bill’s education policy claims “your child” is “our future”.  Did Oliver’s Fagin use that line?  Or was it the woman in the gingerbread house who met Hansel and Gretel? What’s important is that Bill claims his mob at the ALP “see the future”.  Not only that, but he  plans to “make our future renewable”.  Is he channelling Michael J. Fox, or is it Nostradamus.

What’s so important about a “renewable future” that does away with “fossils”. He’s thinking of old-fashioned miners, whose jobs Bill predicts will vanish due to low commodity prices. By the way, Bill, where do you stand on the huge new coal mine in the Galilee Basin your Queensland colleagues recently approved?  Its coal is likely to be exported to help bring electricity’s life-brightening benefits to hundreds of millions of Indians, amongst others.

When it comes to Australia’s almighty deficit, what Bill is “doing” is “budget repair that’s fair”.  He has  said he will divert our superannuation to “turbocharge infrastructure Australia”.  But much of the same superannuation of the “very well off” he wants to take in taxes to help repair the budget.  Perhaps Bill will find a new way to have his cake and eat it. Let us hope it is a warm cake, because his intolerance for cooler pies and the shopkeepers who sell them is well known.

If elected, Bill will “let the experts get on and be the experts”. Be steadfast, Tim “Dry Dams” Flannery, your day — and those nice six-figure cheques for a part-time gig doing nothing much, will come again.

Yet, as Bill concluded in his 2015 Budget reply, “Australia must get smarter, or we will get poorer”.  Which leads finally to Bill’s best insight, although undoubtedly unintended: “The government’s used the term ‘Team Australia’ a lot. I’m worried about the emergence of ‘Team Idiot’.”  Quite so.

6 thoughts on “Turnbull’s Greatest Plus

  • bemartin39@bigpond.com says:

    Bill has not yet mentioned the Magic Pudding but it must be prominent in the back of his mind, otherwise how would we be able to fund all those wonderful Labour initiated programs, like Gonski and NDIS, while at the same time repair the budget. He might also have some other bunnies in his magician’s hat. You’d never know with Bill.

    • Rob Brighton says:

      Morning Bill, just having read your note I had a epiphany, not overly deep and I am sure not original but there it is nevertheless.
      The suffix applied to our political masters, in my mind now has a new meaning. Magic Pudding indeed.

  • mvgalak@bigpond.com says:

    Well, I don’t know, I just don’t know – non-photogenic, earnest Tony Abbott, compared with photogenic Malcolm Turnbull. Had we lived in the age of the wireless – perhaps Tony would’ve stood a chance. Example – JFK against Nixon. JFK won the televised debate and Nixon won the radio audience. The Australian example – almost total non-acceptance of Simon Crean by the female voters, despite the obvious high quality of the man. There was even a slogan at the time – ABC – Anyone But Crean. Talk about the rational choice by voters in democracy.
    What I am getting at – the greatest asset Bill Shorten has is a baby face, which appeals so much to the better half of the voting universe. One does not have to be that good with it. I hope I am wrong.

    • Peter OBrien says:

      I find Shorten’s face vacuous enough to match his pronouncements. And why is it that I find ‘uvver’ reprehensible in Shorten but OK in Duncan Gay? I guess because Gay is not likely to be PM

  • commerce@internode.on.net says:

    I think a large proportion of the “54” think that Bill Shorten will save them from electoral disaster.
    The Liberal Party is headed for a devastating defeat…no question at all.
    Not only because of the circumstances of the coup but also because of the pathetic aftermath.
    Bet on it.
    I have.
    I missed ANZ at $12 but I am not missing this one.

  • en passant says:

    In 2012 I correctly predicted the result of the unlosable election in Victoria thanks to the UTTER incompetence of the Lite Green Liberal lot managing the party.
    I am so confident that Turnbull will lose I put $10 on it last September when he was riding the crest of the wave.
    I am personally glad to say that he will not let me down, but must apologize to my grand children as they have no future while the majority (54 to be exact) of Liberal MP’s have the ethics and intellect of pond scum. The only thing that may save the Liberals is that they are not Labor or Green. As Victoria clearly showed, it s unlikely to be enough.

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