Doomed Planet

Kevin’s Copenhagen Carol

William York, like Melbourne’s Metlink, would like to apologise for the late arrival of this work.

On the last day of Copenhagen my Minister said to me “The Departmental Secretary is out of his tree”. 

On the second last day of Copenhagen my Minister said to me “two Ambassadors and a Departmental Secretary are out of their tree.” 

On the third last day of Copenhagen my Minister said to me “three Climate Change Ministers, two Ambassadors and a Departmental Secretary are out of our tree.” 

On the fourth last day of Copenhagen my Minister said to me “four Executive Officers, three Climate Change Ministers, two Ambassadors and a Departmental Secretary are out of the tree.” 

On the fifth last day of Copenhagen my Minister said to me “five federal Police Officers are helping four Executive Officers, three Climate Change Ministers, two Ambassadors and a Departmental Secretary all up a tree.” 

On the sixth last day of Copenhagen my Minister said to me “six advisers working with five federal Police Officers helping four Executive Officers, three Climate Change Ministers, two Ambassadors and a Departmental Secretary all clinging to a tree.” 

On the seventh last day of Copenhagen my Minister said to me “seven Directors directing six advisers working with five federal Police Officers helping four Executive Officers, three Climate Change Ministers, two Ambassadors and a Departmental Secretary all climbing up a tree.” 

On the eighth last day of Copenhagen my Minister said to me “eight Assistant Directors assisting seven Directors directing six advisers working with five federal Police Officers for four Executive Officers, three Climate Change Ministers, two Ambassadors and a Departmental Secretary starting up a tree.” 

On the ninth last day of Copenhagen my Minister said to me “nine DFAT staff supporting eight Assistant Directors assisting seven Directors directing six advisers working with five federal Police Officers helping four Executive Officers, three Climate Change Ministers, two Ambassadors and a Departmental Secretary at the base of a tree.” 

On the tenth last day of Copenhagen my Minister said to me “ten of your people aiding nine DFAT staff supporting eight Assistant Directors assisting seven Directors directing six advisers working with five federal Police Officers helping four Executive Officers, three Climate Change Ministers, two Ambassadors and a Departmental Secretary who has just found a tree.” 

On the eleventh last day of Copenhagen my Minister said to me “eleven of my officers backing ten of your people aiding nine DFAT staff supporting eight Assistant Directors assisting seven Directors directing six advisers working with five federal Police Officers helping four Executive Officers, three Climate Change Ministers, two Ambassadors and a Departmental Secretary searching for a tree.” 

On the twelfth last day of Copenhagen my Minister said to me “twelve policy advisers advising eleven of my officers backing ten of your people aiding nine DFAT staff supporting eight Assistant Directors assisting seven Directors directing six advisers working with five federal Police Officers helping four Executive Officers, three Climate Change Ministers, two Ambassadors and a Departmental Secretary who just wants a tree.”

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