The hole truth

In the Essential Reading item below this one, food guru Rosemary Stanton and co-author Kris Barnden detail the sort of light-on-meat diet the world needs to embrace if global warming is to be thwarted. The ABC, which insinuates jabber of warmist perils into almost every news bulletin, published the food ladies’ thoughts as “analysis”. It’s good to know the national broadcaster has an official position on “delicious blue-green lentils.”

So far, though, only Ms Stanton has taken a position on crumpets, which she insists aren’t fattening. On the face of it, that’s true, the breakfast staple weighing in at less than 100 calories per serve.

But what of all that butter, honey or jam more often than not slathered all over them?

Ms Stanton, climate change authority, says crumpets’ sponge-like nature means there is nothing to worry about: She explains:

… it’s actually hard to add much butter because it all runs through the holes!

So that’s the solution to global warming right there. Drill holes in the BoM’s thermometers and Ms Stanton will never again have to fret about there being insufficient “delicious blue-green lentils” to go around in the coming meat-free, ABC-endorsed climatic utopia.