Jocularity

The Zombie Presidency of Chou bi Den

Joe Biden is dead. He died in his basement six weeks before the 2020 US presidential election in the presence of son Hunter, who had sold his sold his own soul to China and completed the family’s alignment with Beijing by donating his father’s body to the cause of President Xi’s globe-girdling ambitions.

Apparently, a Chinese scientist by the name of Wu Han Floo, a virologist (the same genius who  developed a range of ‘shedding virii’ aimed at culling weak humans and hobbling irrational democracies) had also engineered a ‘zombie virus’ which could be activated and directed by a computer chip inserted in the little that remained of Biden’s brain. Controlled by a supercomputer based in Bejing, the zombie candidate, after a few slip-ups with stairs and slurred words, was soon talking, albeit with the odd glitch that sometimes froze the speech software as his eyes dimmed to default pools of blank incomprehension. Still, there was much in which the svengalis of Beijing could take pride. “Did you see how we made him run toward the microphone, as if he were sentient and alive?” a Chinese Official was heard to say. “ Dead man running,” quipped a comrade and the whole room laughed

After 100 days of their golem occupying the White House, his Chinese handlers were beyond ecstatic. Already they had seen their creation open the US southern border to facilitate a mass infiltration of criminals, the odd terrorist, cartel drug runners and future Democrat voters.

The Biden zombie had earlier managed to set black Americans against white ones to such a degree that  ‘Defund the Police’ had become a national catchcry. His vice-president, who needed no re-programming,  even released a video exhortation for all good Americans to donate generously to the Black Lives Matter bail fund.

Black criminals offered their lives, daily, to die on camera at the hands of the police, thereby furthering the racial divide and guaranteeing multi-million dollar payouts to their kin. Meanwhile, white people were reported by mainstream and social media to be eating black children on racialist feast days, Donald Trump’s birthday and other celebrations of pale people’s supremacy.

A staged attack on Capitol Hill — captured on video by an undercover Antifa activist at the forefront of the mob — had been sold as a right wing ‘insurrection’ and provided a rationale for Justice Department raids on the homes of prominent Republicans. Many Americans were too preoccupied to notice, wandering around in a semi-psychotic state while wondering if they were men or women. Statues were being destroyed, cities were burning and looters given the softly-softly treatment by the police, who knew better for the sake of their careers than to intervene too strenuously in the oppressed classes’ ad hoc quest for social justice, reparations and cost-free cool sneakers.

Teacher unions had refused to open schools during the China Virus pandemic, so an entire generation of the enemy’s children were growing up even more stupid than their ill-educated parents, beset by family breakdown, gender confusion and sexual orientation. White students who had no truck with white supremacy were nevertheless in peril on university campuses, where the demand for evidence of racism outstripped its supply by an order of magnitude. Not to worry, reporting a hoax involving a notional noose or alleged MAGA-hatted attackers did just as well for the media. There was, the hacks also reported, an epidemic of sexual abuse and violence against women for which Trump was undoubtedly responsible — so much so that when a White House aide was fired for domestic violence the 45th president had to deny on the record that he in any way supported wife-beating. In further news that gladdened hearts in Beijing, one American child in two did not have a father living under the same roof, with welfare cheques now going by name of ‘Daddy’.

The Congress was too busy to notice, its attention occupied by securing a six trillion dollar loan to fund green energy, cars that run on phlogiston and rubber bands, and windmills and solar farms to mince or fry birds and bats in their hundreds of thousands while carpeting productive land with Chinese-made turbines and photovoltaics.

The zombie President wasn’t programmed to care for our feathered friend, the focus of his software being on increasing taxes and, by a much larger degree, spending. His Chinese programmers were rather keen on the inevitable tsunami of inflation that would, sooner or later, dis-employ half the US working population. It was an encouraging sign that the population had submitted with so little protest to being  masked and chained in their homes without work or income and fully at the mercy of a government growing in size with every passing day. There would be no Hooverville riots spawned by broke and angry citizens when the chickens of the zombie President’s profligacy came home to roost, not with docility, fear and acceptance the new norms. If the hoi polloi needed a reminder of how much the State had grown, all that need be done was direct its attention to Washington, where Congress was protected from its voters by high fences and armed troops. In China, they pictured Jefferson, Lincoln and the all the Founding Fathers rolling in their graves and laughed themselves silly.

Now, all the pieces being in place,  it is almost time for a full frontal invasion of Taiwan. Confidence is high the zombie President will do nothing to support a vibrant Asian democracy. Why would he, given the success his programmers and allied US media platforms have enjoyed in denying and suppressing democracy in the US?

9 comments
  • ChrisPer

    This satire is lame. There is nothing stupid enough to excite incredulity; only the implant chip is a step too far, and when you compare with the nutbaggery that passes for uncriticisable speech in America now it is not at all exaggerated.

  • Harry Lee

    Yes, the crumbling of the US institutions and cultural norms that made the USA so strong as an example and as a material defender of Western Civ is well advanced.
    A New Dark Age is upon the Earth.
    We in Australia must soon choose if we are to continue to surrender to the slavery intended for us by home-grown marxists and greenists in the ALP/Greens, and the people who support and vote for those political parties, and their foreign and transnationalist anti-Westernist puppeteers.
    And that is is choice between doing nothing, and volunteering to fight at The Front.
    How to supply the Ordinary People with the concepts and info by which they can make their choices
    will be a big job -given the almost total dominance of our institutions by the marxist-inspired ALP/Greenist people.
    It is a massive and largely unacknowledged problem that the large majority of these ALP/Greenist,
    marxist Big Statists want Australia to become a tributary province of China and/or a province of a UN-style global government controlled by China.
    Quickly now:
    What are a couple plausible scenarios by which Australia could survive as an independent Western nation if China ceases all trade with Australia, while CCP, Muslim and non-Muslim Indian agents duke it out in the various key institutions for control of various key matters.
    The CCP will win that fight, but it will be a defeat for Muslims and Indians that will bring on more terrorism on this soil.
    Meanwhile, can sufficient white Australians be bothered to save themselves and the institutions required to create wealth, provide civic safety on the streets, provide individual freedoms, and ensure proper rewards for the striving, productive classes of the Ordinary People.

  • Patrick McCauley

    ChrisPer . I thought the line about white supremacists eating black children was quite challenging but also un-remarkable amongst such a nest of madnesses. Perhaps the fact that it is ‘not at all exaggerated’ … is exactly the point. Life in Biden’s America is already a Satire.

  • Peter Marriott

    Terrific lampooning Frank, that achieves it’s satirical effect and gets it’s point across, ( at least to me anyway ) without the use of one bit of foul language directed at anyone…..something the left wing comedian of today finds pretty nigh impossible to do.

  • rod.stuart

    This is satire?
    It sounds way to much to be reality to be funny.
    By the way, if we WERE a republic, HARRY LEE FOR PRESIDENT!
    AND FRANK MACK FOR VEE-PEE!
    Satire and derision is probably the best way to thwart the objectives of teh globalists.

  • STD

    I feel sorry for the American people having to put up with four years of ‘Democratically ‘elected socialist psychosis- Equality, equity, abortion, illegal immigration trans, LBGTIQ+, and of course the elephant in the room climate change.

  • Harry Lee

    rod.stuart -thank you for your comment. I take it as a great compliment. Thank you.
    Thing is, I’m more suited to work as an independent advisor to high-level executives, rather than as a high-level exec or even as a “career member” of the executive’s team.

  • slipdavis

    Sorry as a Trump supporter and a conservative viewing the PC brigade activities and all that extremely worrying, I find this article stupid and an insult to intelligent debate. We do not have a chance to counter the woke destruction if we resort to denigration like this and think it is funny.

  • STD

    Firstly , there are two obvious omissions to the fore mentioned post, they being the bug bears of multiculturalism and euthanasia .
    So what’s at stake and what is the foe.
    You do have to wonder in bewilderment about people who are advocates for euthanasia and abortion, if you rub both those words out, what are we ‘left’ with?- essentially with people who don’t like life, or put in context , people who want to kill other people- that being the raw truth, no flowers , smarm or second hand car (care) spiel here.
    People who want or perform such premeditated acts outside of these two legal loop holes , if caught generally end up in goal , and at some stage in that process are psychiatrically assessed- you have to wonder!
    There we have it , an ideology whose efficacy is centred around titrating the life out of people’s lives, either physically mentally or spiritually, or all three.
    Lastly , whether you are a believer or not , if you take anything away from the Bible at all- take this- God isn’t looking for smart, clever or even efficiency- He just wants nice, that’s not a lot to ask , or is it. Palliative care is end of life care without industrious political motives or KPI’s, in other words it’s simply just, Nice.

Post a comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.