How to Do Woke Maths

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WHEN I went to school, many years ago, we had “add ups”, “take aways”, and multiplication and division—none of the woke rubbish kids have to endure today. Here is my version of a modern classroom, a test from the new maths syllabus, according to woke: 

1/ In 1788, Britain invaded Australia with a fleet of convicts. One convict was assigned one acre of land to grow wheat, another convict was assigned 3 acres of land to grow turnips, and another convict was assigned 5 acres of land to keep 3 goats on. 

Question: How many acres of Australia was stolen from the Aborigines?  

Answer: All of it. 

2/ In one month, 85,462 overseas immigrants arrive in Queensland, 143,975 arrive in New South Wales and 108,567 arrive in Victoria. 

Question: How many houses is the government expected to find for them?

Answer: 338,004. 

3/ There are three Australian ex-servicemen. One worked hard and paid taxes for 47 years, the next worked hard and paid taxes for 51 years, and the last worked hard for 46 years and paid his taxes. All raised children, paid off mortgages and saved for his own retirement.

Question: How many houses is the government expected to find for them?

Answer: Zero.

4/ There are 10 Aboriginal children. Of these, nine are taken and placed into foster care. These are educated, well fed and clothed, and given housing security, plus medical and dental care. The last one, by contrast, is raised in a humpy, dressed in rags and only occasionally attends school because his parents think education is all whitefella stuff. 

Question: How many children does Australia need to apologise to?

Answer: Nine

5/ An Australian school student will be, on average, 3 years behind a counterpart Singaporean school student in their mathematics grades. 

Question: An Australian student is now eight years old. How old will they be when they reach the mathematics grade of their Singaporean counterpart?   

Answer: Umm, that’s 8 add-up 3 … umm … no idea.

7 thoughts on “How to Do Woke Maths

  • STD says:

    Nice touch, love the green black board – oh so woke.
    Surely the calcination of chalk (lime) due to global warming will give off even more CO2. A white board with the use of black texta should erase (right) the wrongs of past injustices.
    Surely the white paper is to remind the white colonisers of their I’ll gotten guilt.

  • KemperWA says:

    To be a child in Australia! I wouldn’t have children in this country if you paid me. I shudder to think of the self-esteem destroying curriculum that this country forces on its children. Where common-sense means nothing, what was must be changed for the sake of ‘change’, and feelings trump facts. Academics will look back and realise their ‘no need to learn off by heart, just know how to find the information’ is setting children’s brains up for failure.

  • Elizabeth Beare says:

    Only one thing wrong with that pic. The desks all face the teacher at the front, even if the students don’t.

    Put those desks into small group circles so that no-one has to take any notice of the teacher. The teacher, likely a diversity hire for mathematics, then ambles around making hopeful noises of encouragement on the quality of the paper aeroplanes the children are firing all over the room to relieve the general boredom felt by most of them. Count them, he says, and that’ll do for maths today. Nobody takes a blind bit of notice of him, of course, and he is not pulled up at all when the entire class fails maths.

  • SB says:

    This subject was covered in Episode 7, Season 2 of Yes Prime Minister, almost 40 years ago. An excerpt:

    Hacker: … Look what’s happened to education in this country. This is a question from a Religious Studies paper. “Which do you prefer – atom bombs or charity?” Even maths is politicised. “If it costs £5 billion a year to maintain Britain’s nuclear defences and £75 a year to feed a starving African child, how many children could be saved from starvation if the Ministry of Defence abandoned nuclear weapons?

    This tells us that the Left have controlled education for the best part of the past 50 years and pretend-conservative governments have done nothing to change that.

  • Surftilidie says:


    A logger sells a truckload of timber for $100 His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
    What is his profit? $____

    2. Teaching Math In 1970…

    A logger sells a truckload of timber for $100.
    His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80.
    What is his profit? $___

    3. Teaching Math In 1990…

    A logger sells a truckload of timber for $100.
    His cost of production is $80.
    Did he make a profit? __Yes or __No

    4 Teaching Math In 2000…

    A logger sells a truckload of timber for $100.
    His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20.
    Your assignment: Underline the number 20

    5 Teaching Math In 2015…

    A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands.
    He does this so he can make a profit of $20.
    What do you think of this way of making a living?
    Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes

    6 Teaching Math in 2022…

    Math is Racist. It was only invented to prove the superiority of whites.
    Students no longer need any math skills to go to Graduate school.
    2+2 = 4, or 22, or whatever you feel is correct
    There are no wrong answers, feel free to express your feelings e.g., anger, anxiety, inadequacy, helplessness etc.
    Should you require debriefing at the conclusion of the exam there are counsellors available to assist you to adjust back into the real world.

  • Kate Stuart says:

    Very well summed up! With a number of grandchildren, 3 + 3 + 4=334, of dear, that doesn’t sound right, try again with my fingers….. I thought I had 10! The teaching of English, the language of the invaders, is geared to making as many children illiterate as possible. The teaching of Australian history is based on the invaders who committed genocide and stole the land. I have been very worried about the parlous state of the education system. This adds up to the majority of the children in the school system being taught to be utterly ashamed of the history of this country since the British arrived. There are many children in the ‘white’ society who are disadvantaged who do not receive a fraction of the assistance offered to the aboriginal industry. I had thought the amount this year was 40 billion dollars, but, apparently it is 50 billion….for 800,000 people, many of whom have little or no aboriginal ancestry. I say we should ALL tick the box at the next opportunity!

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