A Happy COVID-normal Christmas

Mummy speaks: “Now come on children. Christmas is coming. We need to get this tree decorated and all the lights up so Father Christmas can find you.” 

Children are shouting out excitedly,  rushing to the lounge room where Daddy has erected a small tree,  and is standing back admiring his handiwork.   “Hurray!” “Hurray!”     “Father Christmas is going to bring me a dolly, and another dolly.”    “I want a pony  …”   “Peter! You’re standing on my tinsel!”  

Mummy:  “Now children play nicely  or Father Christmas won’t be bringing anything for anybody!  And don’t put all the decorations at the bottom!  Use that step ladder.  But be careful!”

The parents help the children to decorate the tree, all talking loudly and excitedly about what Father Christmas is going to bring them .  Discussing the usual Christmas rituals.   Carrots for the reindeer.  Biscuits in a saucer for Father Christmas.  All the usual problems that must be resolved each Christmas.

Mummy and Daddy slip back into the adjacent dining room.  Mummy is speaking to Daddy, quite softly and seriously so that the children can’t quite hear?   

Mummy: “We really must get our vaccines done before Christmas.  The children just must be safe from COVID.  I’m really worried that we have left it so late.”  

Daddy (a little dubious): Yes, dear. We must get on to it.”

Back in the lounge the children are still decorating, still squealing with delight.  But is young Peter becoming just a little bit more introspective?  Suddenly he blurts out…

Young Peter:  “I don’t believe in Father Christmas.  It doesn’t make any sense.”  

The Girls:  What!  (shock horror as they cry in unison)  “Of course there is a Father Christmas! Who else brings us presents!”  

Peter:  Reindeers flying from the North Pole. Visiting every child on the planet in one night.  Fat Father Christmas climbing down the chimney —  and we don’t even have a chimney, we have a gas heater. It’s rubbish.  I think it’s just so shops can sell more stuff.”

Shrieks of horror!  The girls rush over to their parents in distress.

The Girls: Mummy! Mummy!  Peter says there is no Father Christmas.  “Tell him he’s a liar!!!”

Mummy: “Oh  Peter!  How could you?”

Daddy:“How dare you frighten your sisters!  Of course there’s a Father Christmas. And he comes every year.  And (glaring daggers at Young Peter)  he doesn’t bring presents to naughty boys.   Go to your room immediately. I’ll be up to speak with you in moment!”

A sullen Peter leaves the room, head bowed. 

Mummy: Now now, girls.  Don’t you listen to Peter’s nonsense.  Go and finish that decorating or Father Christmas  WON’T  come, and that would be very unfortunate!

The girls, somewhat mollified, return to their task a little more subdued. Daddy speaks, returning to the subject of vaccines

Daddy: You know, I’ve been reading a bit about those vaccines.  I’m very worried.  It seems to me that you are just as much at risk of getting COVID or transmitting COVID even if you have the vaccine.  And then there’s the risks of the vaccine itself. I’m not sure I want the children to take those risks.

Mummy:  How can you say that!   It’s the only way to keep us all safe!   You’ve seen the TV!  The government! The doctors!  Even the TV stars all believe it’s the best option to keep everyone safe! I mean, you don’t trust Magda Szubanski?

Daddy:  Hmmm ….  All their advice would be a little more credible if they didn’t change it all the time. Masks on, masks off, don’t go near swings and slides in the park until, suddenly, there’s no threat. Or what about virus-carrying pizza boxes and contagious footballs

Mummy:   I’ll have you know that, because South Australia’s chief health officer issued that warning, not a single person has been carried off by a pizza box or a Sherrin. I don’t want to hear any more of this nonsense. Go and deal with Peter.”


Scene II: Peter’s room.

  Peter is lying on his bed, a look of defiance in his eyes.

Daddy: What’s all this nonsense about no Father Christmas.”

Peter:  I saw the presents in the bottom of the wardrobe.

Daddy: Nosy little bugger, aren’t you!  Well that’s the end of that — no more Father Christmas for you. You’ve grown up and you’ve found out.   Now you have to think about others for a change.   You’ve got to think about your sisters. Hmmmm.   You have to pretend that there is a Father Christmas for the girls’ sake.   They are still little and all excited about Christmas and you don’t want to be the one that spoils everything for them.   Do you?   If you do spoil their Christmas –  there will be no Christmas parties for you.  There will be no Christmas Pageant for this year.  There will be no Christmas holiday visiting Gran in Queensland.    You can stay in your room until you are ready to apologise to your mother, and tell your sisters that you were just being mean and silly.


Scene III

Back in the dining room.  Daddy has returned and speaks with Mummy.

Daddy:  I just don’t think getting the kids shot up with this gene-therapy jab is a good idea. I’ve seen the statistics.  The Israel data …    They are not good. Maybe we just have to grow up and realise that the vaccines don’t work. … ”

Mummy  (sobbing):  But if we don’t have the vaccines, we won’t be able to leave the house!   We won’t be able to go to any Christmas parties with the children!  We won’t be able to take them to the Christmas Pageant! We won’t be able to visit my mother in Queensland!

Even if the vaccine doesn’t stop you catching it or spreading it, we have to think about the safety of the whole community! ” 


Scene IV

Young Peter is seeing a department store SANTA with his sisters. Breaking with tradition, Santa is masked and seated behind a perspex screen. After touching fists against the barrier, he effects a look of absolute innocence as he asks for the presents he already knows are cached in the bottom of his parent’s wardrobe.

Santa: Have you been a good boy this year?

Young Peter: Oh! Yes!  I have learnt a very important lesson from Dad about telling the truth.

Santa: Dear boy, what lesson is that?

Young Peter: That something can be true even if it’s not just so long as everyone else agrees to say they believe it too.

As the stage lights fade Mummy and Daddy are seen leading their brood to Jabs-R-Us for whole-family inoculations.

Mummy: Come on, hurry up. We wouldn’t want to disappoint Magda.

24 thoughts on “A Happy COVID-normal Christmas

  • Rebekah Meredith says:

    Here in WA, as you may have seen, our emperor has given us the Christmas present of indoor mask-wearing, due to one case. How much further it will go is a good question; the four new cases today, at any other time this year, would have already brought in a lockdown and outdoor mask-wearing. It is barely possible that the Little Dictator actually cares about people’s Christmas celebrations; he has not mandated masks in private homes, and wants us to try to have a “normal” Christmas. More likely, he does not want to be called the Grinch Who Stole Christmas.
    Today’s West Australian had to tell us at least four times that the “now infamous backpacker” who was the first case was unvaccinated. Surely it would only be news if he WERE vaccinated? We all know, after all, that the vast majority of cases are in the pariah unvaxed.
    The day before this started, Chairman Mark had become the first premier to mandate a booster shot as soon as people are eligible if they want to keep their right-to-work in 75% of the economy. I hope that that will be the deciding factor for many of those waiting until the last minute before getting the initial jabs.

  • Elizabeth Beare says:

    Covid Mania. Surely it cannot continue for yet another year? I completely understand the caution of those who are aged over 80 and with serious co-morbidities. Thus I am happy on Boxing Day when I see them to be masked (big concession) and declared safe to sit outside with them socially distanced for their comfort (with me RAT tested and up-to-date jabbed) if that is what they require this Christmas (and these ones do). But glory be, it cannot go on forever. The ‘flu has never caused this much fuss, and that is what Omnicron is looking like so far.
    I hope that the confusion rendered by the various conflicting edicts and the testing line-ups of families in hot cars waiting for hours at over-run centres (which close early) will put an end to it for most people.
    Move on.
    And a very Merry Christmas to those who do finally manage to get together for a family feast. My thoughts are also with those unfairly and hysterically restricted due their unjabbed status, forced into combining in an Orphan’s Christmas with each other. Better times ahead, let us make sure of that..

  • Elizabeth Beare says:

    Alistair, thanks for the featured Christmas drama. Very Hans Christian Andersen, it is.
    It takes a child to speak truth to power.

  • Surftilidie says:

    Rebekah, I think the media here have to keep telling us ad infinitem that the backpacker was unvaccinated, as the narrative has been somewhat sullied over the past few days with all those double vaxxed Sydney Swans players catching COVID. Heavens above, we couldn’t have the public questioning the wisdom of getting injected. The Premier here has decreed that since two injections of the COVID vaccine don’t work, we all have to receive a third. As is happening in other parts of the world, when the third one doesn’t work, it will be time for a fourth. Hasn’t the Premier ever heard of Einstein’s definition of insanity, i.e. doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome.

  • Rebekah Meredith says:

    Surftilidie, Our household received yesterday the kind advice of the PM, Health Minister, and CMO (aren’t we special?) that we receive our booster shots (I can just about guarantee you that I will get mine–as soon as I’m eligible!). The enclosed information declares, “Only one booster dose is recommended and at this stage there is no recommendation for any further booster doses.” Surely you do not believe that our government would alter its advice, do you?

  • john2 says:

    Welcome to the Booster-go-round.
    Round and round it goes,
    where it stops nobody knows.
    Merry Christmas to All
    And to All a Good Night!

  • Ian MacKenzie says:

    Robert F. Kennedy Jr at Milan Italy in November:
    No government, in the history of mankind, has ever relinquished power voluntarily.

    The power they have taken away from us, over the past 20 months, they will never give back.

    They have taken away our freedom of speech. They closed the churches. They have taken away jury trials against companies, no matter how negligent they are, no matter how reckless they are, no matter how grievous your injury, you can not sue that company.

    They have taken away our property rights in the United States. They closed a million businesses for a year with no just compensation and no due process.

    They have taken away our right to be free of warrantless searches and seizures, and surveillance by the government.

    In the United States, all of those rights are enumerated in our Bill of Rights of the United States Constitution.

    Among the most important of those rights, after the right to free expression, which is gone, is the right to be able to participate in rule making.

    So when the government wants to pass a law, he has to explain, he has to publish the law, the proposed law. He has to explain the scientific basis for that law. He has to do a benefit/risk analysis of that law and explain it to the public. And then we have comments, that the whole public can participate. And then we have a hearing, where people who oppose the law, like myself, can bring in their own scientists and experts, and scientific studies, and it’s all transparent. All of those safeguards have been obliterated. Today, the law is what one man says it is. The top doctor in America. Anthony Fauci.

    In one month, in March 2020, Tony Fauci told the world that masks don’t work. It was scientifically worthless. Two months later, he ordered all Americans to put on a mask. He didn’t give us any scientific studies that made him change his mind. He simply told us : “That’s the new law, do what you’re told.”

    All of these rights that the founders of our country died for, sacriffying their property or their livelihoods, to give us the Bill of Rights, and all of those rights, in 20 months, have been obliterated, taken from the American people and not just Americans. This is a global Coup d’Etat against liberal democracy across the planet.

    All of these rights that were taken away from us, the government said it was temporary, it will be only two weeks, it would be over. In truth, you can all see what is happening. They are taking those rights and they will never give them back unless we make them.

    The Green Pass is their Coup d’Etat. The Green Pass is how they consolidate their power over your lives.

    The Green Pass is not a public health measure. It is a tool for totalitarian control, of your transportation, your bank account, your movements, every aspect of your life.

    And this is not a new idea. This is the same idea that they used in Germany in 1937, they issued a pass for people they wanted to control.

    And when the South Africa apartheid government wanted to control the black population of South Africa, what was the most important thing they did? They issued a green pass.

    I want you to ask, all the people, journalists and press, who are here today : if the Green pass is about public health, why is it being issued not by the Health Ministry?

    It is being issued by the Financial Ministry. Do they think we’re stupid?

    This is a way to control your money. Once you have that green pass, and they have the digital currency, if somebody tells you do not leave Milan, and you go on a trip to Bologna, your money won’t work in Bologna. If the government tells you don’t buy pizza, they can make it so your green pass won’t buy pizza at the pizza store. They can control every aspect of your life.

    They tell you that we need a green pass to make sure that everybody gets vaccinated. But they admit that the vaccine does not prevent transmission. The vaccine doesn’t prevent you from getting the disease. The vaccine can not stop the pandemic. So why do they need to vaccinate us if the vaccine doesn’t stop transmission?

    If you think he’s crazy, try Googling his name and “speech in Milan” and see how many hits you get calling him crazy or irresponsible before you get a transcript so you can decide for yourself.

  • Surftilidie says:

    Rebekah, what you need is some correspondence offering the same advice from the Premier, as the PM has no control over health in WA, and our Premier does what he likes. And our Premier has constantly proved himself to be a one trick pony, lacking both the creativity and courage to tackle this particular problem. Our PM, IMO, has been even worse, relinquishing what little control he had by creating the nonsensical National Cabinet. There are any number of jurisdictions out there that have this so-called pandemic under control,, without the tunnel visioned approach of masks-lockdowns-vaccination repeated endlessly for each new mutation that turns up. So I think you can see that the answer to your question is a big NO from me – I wouldn’t trust any of the bureaucrats as far as I could throw them.

  • Rebekah Meredith says:

    Too right!

  • exuberan says:

    Rebekah, One can only hope that you enjoy Xmas Day because it sure looks like Xmas Eve didnt work out for you. MM is only doing what the majority of West Australians voted for him to do in the last election. Our viewpoints on Covid are generally defined by our age and prevailing health. My carefree bullet proof days are long gone and I and a whole lot of others are quite happy with the way MM is running WA

  • Rebekah Meredith says:

    People on this site have been round and round this subject multiple times, and it’s almost Christmas. As strongly as I feel about the Present Crisis, even it’s not as important as remembering that God sent His Son to save from their sins all those who repent and believe on Him. That doesn’t change, no matter what happens around us.
    Merry Christmas, everyone!

  • March says:

    exuberan … And everyone else pays the price for collective mysophobia

  • rod.stuart says:

    Here in beautiful downtown Tasmania, zee Fuhrer has decreed that all should wear masks.
    There is apparently no knowledge in Hobart that the only peer reviewed studies found that masks are of no use whatsoever. Apparently the warning on the box that these masks do not prevent inhalation of a virus. More to the point, in every other jurisdiction in the world that have instituted mask mandate, greater infection rates follow. Never mind the consideration that mask wearing for extended periods result in hypoxia and hypercpnia. Never mind that they cause one to regurgitate all the bacteria and dirt that the Good Lord intended to be dispelled.
    Yet the mob of sheep obediently don the religious paraphernalia of the Covidiots. You even see people alone in their car with a diaper on their face instead of their ass. The insanity grows well in this atmosphere. TasMANIA is everywhere.

  • Surftilidie says:

    March, agree absolutely, although I had to look up the meaning of mysophobia.

  • Stephen Ireland says:

    Not to be confused with misophonia, the condition which has led to many to cancel ABC news of any description.

  • exuberan says:

    March, Your ‘Everyone Else’, are they the majority or the minority?


    The ‘boosters’. In reality, more shots of a concoction that’s already failed twice.

  • Peter Marriott says:

    If what I’ve been reading, that there never has been a full isolation of the virus causing the covid-19 flu like symptoms, and it’s therefore technically, unidentifiable, and very many if not most cases are asymptomatic, or as good as, and also that the Polymerase Chain Reaction ( PCR) test does not definitively confirm an actual illness, the scene seems to be set perfectly to either ramp up or defuse the whole business when the time is right. All that is needed is for the PCR test to be quietly shelved or changed and the virus could immediately start to disappear, as asymptomatic case numbers, almost miraculously, plummet. This could then leave the field open to the authorities & vaccine manufacturers to claim a great victory ? It’s just a musing thought of course.

  • Ceres says:

    March, I’m another one totally on board with your sentiments.

  • Katzenjammer says:

    Join the queue to be tested because unlike every disease ever, you’ll never know you’re sick unless someone tells you. Keep clear of double vaccinated persons – they’re the ones transmitting omicron around the world and sharing it among other double vaxed at pubs, clubs and other venues. Unvaccinated are not permitted, so they play no part in this.

  • rosross says:

    Very clever Mr Crooks. The great lie of Santa, for a ‘greater good,’ and the huge whoppers about Covid for a claimed greater good. Santa is however benevolent and the Covid lies are not.

    Perhaps the most sobering thing of all in this time of Covid, is the reminder of how thin is the veneer of civilization, how irrational many people are and how easily fear can be used to manipulate the gullible. And many people, even those considered highly intelligent, are gullible if the disease and death flags are waved in their face.

    As a natural sceptic and having spent much too long as a journalist, I believe nothing I am told, not by scientists, doctors, lawyers and certainly not Government. Check everything. And while the lies have spewed forth constantly from Government and the gutter press -with a few exceptions like Quadrant it is all now gutter press – it has not been difficult to gain a broad understanding of Covid, the risks, immunology, how the Jabs are made, what they contain, etc., and to reach the conclusion that Covid is somewhere from a mild to bad Flu season and little risk to the vast majority, including the healthy aged.

    And that the genetic treatments called vaccines are not vaccines and have immediate risks and the potential for some really nasty long-term risks, unknown as yet because the minimal studies done remain uncompleted. There have been scientists and doctors raising questions and urging caution about the Jabs, some of them here on Quadrant, for some time but they have been ignored by Government – needs must. And increasingly, some of them are calling the Jabs by their correct name – gene therapy.

    That Governments could bully people into accepting these treatments is appalling and in the case of forcing them on children, not just criminal, but evil.

    Back to back lies have piled high in the past two years and they are easily refuted if people care enough to look a little closer, wider, deeper, lower, higher, and to apply common sense and reason.

    The question as to why that has not happened with more people will probably never be answered. Assuming that in years to come we will be able to ask questions about anything.

  • john2 says:

    Mr Marriott, You said:
    “All that is needed is for the PCR test to be quietly shelved or changed and the virus could immediately start to disappear, as asymptomatic case numbers, almost miraculously, plummet. This could then leave the field open to the authorities & vaccine manufacturers to claim a great victory”
    As much as this consummation is devoutly to be wished, it may prove to be merely wishful thinking. Such a “victory” would be pyrrhic for our Pharma friends, as it would end the great vaccination money-go-round for them. Much better for them to milk each new variant for all it’s worth and keep the wheel spinning.

  • Peter Marriott says:

    Concerning the vaccines and the way they have been promoted and critiqued, in any debate my first question to all the scientists, immunologists, officials, managers etc, and particularly all the vaccine manufacturers would be….have you all had the vaccinations yourselves ? I would want to know who, among them all, have not had it and what their position in the organisation is. This would then give me a starting point, an indication, of how much confidence the powers that be, and particularly the manufacturers have in their own product. As far as I’m aware this is not something that has ever been openly communicated ?

  • rosross says:

    @Peter Marriott,

    You only have to go to each manufacturers’ site page and sifting through the science-speak, look at how these Jabs are made, what they contain and what they are designed to do to think, that is some kind of freaky Frankenstein injection.

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