Doomed Planet

Merry Crypto Climatecoin Christmas

crypto coinsForget Bitcoin and Dutch tulips. Ignore the hundreds of other cryptocurrencies out there competing for your shopping dollars. Here is a gift that will warm the heart of that special planet-saviour in your life. But hurry: this intriguing product just launched by a blockchain company in Switzerland’s Crypto Valley closes on 31 December.

Climatecoin, n., 1. The first “democratizing” cryptocurrency to allow “everyone to participate in the fight against Climate Change”. 2. The official currency of Warmerland. Current exchange rate: one ether equals 210 Climatecoin Tokens. 3. A cryptic solution to a non-problem.

When competing with over thirteen hundred other offerings (as at 27 November this year), including PotCoin and Titcoin, a new crypto-product needs a strong key selling point (KSP). What could be more appealing to the noble cause aficionados out there than Climatecoin? Not only does it allow you to feel good about yourself, but you will be getting “a profit at the same time”, or at least the promise of a profit. According to Climatecoin’s 1.18 minute promotional video (below): “there has never been a better or more important time than to invest in the future of our planet.”

James Haft, the group’s CEO and co-founder,  put it like this in a brief Business Wire media release on December 1, 2017, titled “Climatecoin: Crypto Carbon Revolution”:

“We solve so many problems with one deal; we underwrite our currency, we help save the planet, offset our Coins carbon and electricity ‘footprint’ and we show how we lead the world even in Crypto sector”.

By this agreement also Climatecoin will be the only cryptocurrency to be accepted as a payment in CTX global exchange platform and will be able to sell carbon credits to its current customers.

If you want to know more (or less), watch this 7.12 minute interview by Crypto Currently dated 7 September 2017: “Today we’re here to talk Climate Change and blockchain together. The merger of a great technology and an even greater cause is coming to us thanks to Climatecoin.”

Perhaps you are reading this post while on skiing holiday in Switzerland. Why not visit Crypto Valley and the Climatecoin Foundation HQ at 21 Bahnofstrasse in Zug, four doors up from a Credit Suisse bank branch? For an annual fee of only a hundred Swiss Francs you can join the Valley fun here. Perhaps you are investor wanting a piece of the $US103 trillion action apparently needed “to mitigate climate change”, and not merely an inquisitive Quadrant reader with time on your hands, but no real money in them. If so, maybe someone will take you to lunch at the Grand Café Zug across the road to discuss climate-smart investing, and then for an afternoon cruise on the Zugersee.

The OCDE estimates that around 103 trillion USD of cumulative investment is needed between 2016 and 2030 to mitigate climate change, so that means big profits for all these related companies that we are buying or participating. Climatecoin website

If so, you will have an opportunity to learn more about this exercise. Climatecoin says it intends to invest in “many environmental businesses” with the money raised from its 500 million “CO2” Token Sale. All Tokens will be held in an ethereum – “Dawn is here” – ERC20 Wallet.

After our token sale, our team including our blockchain developers, together with experts from our partners at Carbon Trade Exchange (CTX), one external blockchain firm, and experts from the Carbon credits and environmental fields that are being hired, will be developing our peer to peer decentralized carbon portal.

Our Carbon credits tokenized system will make possible for any citizen in the world and also corporations to buy carbon credits peer to peer by using our coin. Our portal will be nourished by sources of product from UN-REDD program members, other UN verified sources and Climatecoin verifying partners.

There will be much else to discuss too: the weather, the price of eggs in Zug and Geneva, and Climatecoin’s disclaimer.

You understand and agree that token is not a security, is not listed, authorized, issued or traded on any regulated market, and it is not intended to be considered as one. Notwithstanding the above, you understand and agree that it is your responsibility to ensure that you comply with the applicable laws regarding the purchase of tokens in your jurisdiction. Moreover, you represent that you are aware of all the merits, risks and any restrictions associated with cryptographic tokens (particularly, with their purchase and use), cryptocurrencies and blockchain-based systems. In this sense, you expressly acknowledge and understand that tokens, cryptocurrency, blockchain technology, and other associated and related technologies, are new and that they are outside of ClimateCoin Foundation’s control. You understand and agree that nothing here constitutes legal advice and/or a recommendation or endorsement as to fitness of purpose.

The UK Financial Conduct Authority, incidentally, has warned that an initial coin offering (ICO) is high risk and offers little, if any, investor protection. For details of what can go wrong, visit cryptocurrency.

So, should you be concerned that your funds could be caught in a carbon portal, become bogged in a blockchain, or otherwise impeded or delayed, have a chat with your financial advisor, climate consultant and any person or deity you know who can look into the seeds of time and tell you which cryptocurrency will grow and which will not, including Lord Bull and Bear.

A cautionary note too regarding any forward-looking statements contained herein. They may include statements of future expectations that are based on the author’s current views and assumptions and involve known and unknown risks and uncertainties.

Actual cryptocurrency results, performance or events may differ materially from those expressed or implied in such forward-looking statements.

Such deviations may arise due to, without limitation, (i) changes of the general economic conditions and competitive situation, particularly in the core business and core markets, (ii) performance of cryptocurrency markets (particularly market volatility, liquidity, credit and blockchain events), (iii) frequency and severity of insured loss events, including from natural and anthropogenic catastrophes, assuming they know how distinguish one from the other without resorting to dodgy probability analyses and so on and so forth, (iv) particularly in the banking business, the extent of credit defaults, (v) interest rate levels, (vi) currency exchange rates; (vii) changes in laws and regulations, including tax regulations, (viii) the impact of acquisitions, including related integration issues, and reorganization measures, and (ix) general competitive factors, including the price of eggs in Zug and Geneva. Many of the above factors may be more likely to occur, or be more pronounced, as a result of Climate Change, terrorist or cybercrime activities and their consequences.

The Climatecoin “CO2” Token Sale has only fourteen days to run, so it may be colder than usual around 21 Bahnhofstrasse at this time of the year. For the ICO appears to have raised only $US20, 641 to date. Perhaps Santa Claus will be more generous than the market.

We live in strange – crypto-crazy – times.

The fight, dear reader, is not only against “Climate Change” and anthropogenic folly, but also against crypto-semantics.

Fröhliche Weihnachten, schöni Wiehnachte, joeux Noël.

4 thoughts on “Merry Crypto Climatecoin Christmas

  • en passant says:

    Another soap bubble that may burst before travelling far!

    The madness of crowds!

  • en passant says:

    You have to admit that this global warming thingy is the most tricky pseudo-scientific magic since Merlin:

    “Erie, Pa., recieved a record 34 inches of snow.

    “And another 19 inches fell before dawn Tuesday, bringing the total to 53 inches — the greatest two-day total in commonwealth history. The previous record was the 44 inches that fell in Morgantown in March 1958.

    “And it’s not over for Erie – the snow is expected to continue falling through Wednesday.”

    If it gets any warmer who knows how cold it will become?

    Just today the Wizard of OzBoMb declared on ABC news that ‘this summer is likely to be 70% hotter than the average.’ I think the meant that there was a 70% chance the summer could be anywhere between +0.00001C & Venusian (after ‘homogenisation’). They also declared that ‘more vulnerable people die during heatwaves’ …. than? They omitted to add that cold is a greater killer, which is why grey nomads head for the tropics in caravan convoys every winter.

    Finally, my beachfront property 1.5M above high tide faced the might of Typhoon Tembin:
    “Typhoon Tembin did not make landfall in Vietnam and was downgraded to a weakening tropical depression as it headed for the Gulf of Thailand, local authorities say.
    The storm had been forecast to wreak havoc on the country’s southern provinces on Tuesday morning, the National Steering Committee for Natural Disaster Prevention and Control said.”

    Another disappointingly fizzled prediction as I wanted to test my property’s survival to rising sea levels and storms.

  • says:

    en passant

    Agreed. Hence I have drafted a Climate-craft Act 2018 for consideration by PM and Cabinet early in the Year of the Dog

    Climate-craft Act 2018, n., 1. An Act of Parliament proposed to regulate the practice of climate-craft. Extract:

    “…..if any person or persons shall from and after the next Feast of Saint Michael the Archangel, take upon him, her or them to practise climate-craft, obfuscation, big-data babble, modelling or any other form of trickery, enchantment, scaremongering or pact with the Devil; to tell or declare where any carbon dioxide vapours should be had in the earth, ocean, air or other secret place, from whence it came and the alleged harm it is doing or could do to persons or provinces; or where carbon credits, whether counterfeit, lost or stolen, should be found; or to provoke unlawfully in any person or province guilt or distress by such means; or whereby the cattle or goods of any person or province shall be threatened with destruction, waste or impairment, or likewise with hurt or anxiety to any person in his body, mind or pocket, even if the same be not effected and done : that then all and every person or persons making such mischief, whether in the form of an accusation, prediction, projection, speculation, threat, or by disseminating fake news by any means; and thereby so offending, and being lawfully convicted, shall for the said offence suffer imprisonment by the space of one whole year for each offence, without bail, and once in every quarter of the said year, shall in some market town, upon the market day, or at such time as any fair, expo or convention shall be kept there, stand openly upon the pillory by the space of six hours, and there shall openly confess his or her error and offence….”


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