Doomed Planet

Black (Carbon Dioxide) Sunday

(Inspired by Alfred Tennyson and a Lady)

Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
Who is the biggest fear-mongerer* of them all?

“I am not!” said the Lady of One-Last-Shot.
She left her web, she left the loom,
She made three paces round the room,
She thought she saw a carbon market bloom,
She thought she saw much climate gloom,
She thought she saw a toxic plume,
As she looked down to Con-A-Lot.
Out flew the web and floated wide;
The mirror cracked from side to side;
“The Carbon Curse is on me,” cried
The Lady of One-Last-Shot.

In her Lodge she weaved by night and day
A carbon web with colours gay.
She had heard a whisper say,
A curse is on her if she stay
To look down to Con-A-Lot.
She knew not what the curse may be,
And so she weaveth steadily,
And little other care she had (said she),
The Lady of One-Last-Shot.

But in her web she still delights
To weave the mirror’s carbon sights,
And often in her silent nights
A funeral went to turgid Con-A-Lot:
And when the moon was overhead,
Came two old Greens lately wed;
“I am sick of carbon credits,” said
The Lady of One-Last-Shot.

Sometimes a troop of alarmists glad,
Or an Abbott on a mission mad,
And sometimes a churlish union-lad,
Or long-haired miner in crimson clad,
Went by to topsy-turvy Con-A-lot;
And sometimes through the mirror blue
Carbon knights come riding two and two:
But she hath no loyal knight and true,
The Lady of One-Last-Shot.

As he rode between the carbon thieves,
The sun came dazzling through the leaves,
And shone upon the well-worn sleeves
Of bold Sir Lance-A-Plot.
His helmet and his helmet feather
Burned like one burning flame together,
As he rode down to Con-A-Lot.
A red-faced knight for ever kneeled
To vanquish carbon and not to yield;
From the banks and from the river
He flashed into her crystal mirror,
Beside remote One-Last-Shot.

With the dark sky raining over Con-A-Lot,
Down she came and found a boat
Beneath a willow left afloat,
And round about the prow she wrote
The Lady of One-Last-Shot.
And at the closing of the day
The low polls bore her far away;
And as the boat wound rudderless along,
They heard her singing her last song,
The Lady of One-Last-Shot.

Who is this and what is here?
And in a darkened building near
Died the sound of carbon cheer;
And they crossed themselves for fear,
(Some made a sneer and had a beer)
All her knights at Con-A-Lot:
But Lance-A-Plot had a little space;
He said, “She has a lovely face;
God in his mercy temper her disgrace,
The Lady of One-Last-Shot.”

*Fear-mongering: 1. Repetitive use of fear to influence opinions and actions of others. Syn. Scare-mongering. 2. Politics: Frequently used as a term of abuse or tactic to neutralise an opponent’s argument. 3. Science: Tendency of many government-funded scientists to claim dodgy worst-case projections are “predictions” and to promote the pseudo-scientific “precautionary principle” as a key reason for taking action on alleged problems.

Eg: Less than twenty-four hours after the government’s Clean Energy Legislative Package was passed by the Senate on the 8th November last year, the prime minister celebrated with a speech to the Carbon Expo Australasia 2011 conference:

We accept the cost of not acting is too great to accept because not acting means more and longer droughts, rising sea levels; more severe storms and cyclones; lasting damage to the Murray Darling food bowl; to the Great Barrier Reef; and to Kakadu. No nation can accept such threats. We must act.

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