A multi-culti kind of lovin’

Girl meets boy, love blooms and it’s happy ever after. Well that is the way it is supposed to go, but in multi-culti Australia nothing is quite so simple these days.

Take the habit of arranged child marriages, which civilised people regard as being beyond the pale. But how do you deal with mums and dads who fear for the family’s honour if their frisky daughter isn’t married off as soon as possible? Remember, the oppression of women, the business of treating them as commodities to be bartered and sold, is a proud tradition within some ethnic groups — and all cultures are equal and their mores and customs must be respected. Right?

Fortunately, Dr Eman Sharobeem is beavering away at the Immigrant Women’s Health Centre in western Sydney, where she has squared the circle by negotiation. As she explains it, the classic young-love scenario now plays out like this: Girl meets boy. Girl drops boy if father agrees not to make a match with Cousin Ahmed in Trashcanistan.

“We teach our girls to negotiate the future with their parents instead of being disobedient. As teenagers they may fall in love with another person and as soon as the parents see the girl’s heart going in a different direction than what they desire for her – they think of marrying her off quickly,” says Sharobeem.

“What we try in our negotiation here is to stop the relation between the girl and the boyfriend in order to ask the family to hold on from marrying her off. In this way, we protect the girl and the family as well.”

Sharobeemis no absolutist when it comes to relativism, telling the ABC, that if there are “alarming signs” of danger or imminent marriage, “we contact the authorities directly.”

While that is good to know, best not to dwell on the hapless youngsters who might have continued to enjoy each other’s company if only their parents had integrated with what used to be the Australian way of life.

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