This Sandy Stone monologue appeared in the August 1989 Quadrant. The introduction is by Peter Coleman. Sandy Stone is one of the great poetic creations of Australian literature—or perhaps one should say theatre and literature, since it is impossible to imagine him without Barry Humphries’s performance of Sandy’s disappointed but stoic face, eyes and mouth and his representation of his quavering voice. He is also Barry Humphries’s favourite character, and possibly the public’s: when he died in 1971, there was not a dry eye in the house and his return as a revenant must have been in part due to…