“When, girl, you paid my rent
and toy boys lacked the password for
your website where my mouse went spare
then I was happy as Clark Kent
unsheathing from his gear.”
“You claim I shared your bed?
If so, I was no second fiddle
to Ms Britney Baring-Myddle,
but could claim the high regard
of the ABC and Board.”
“Starlet and dynamo,
it’s Britney now keeps me in trim
in our horizontal gym.
To keep our doodah on the go
I’d gladly eat my Porsche.”
“Quite so, and here’s my bloke
owns the seafront at Vaucluse.
Commitment is the word we use,
and if his millions go in smoke,
we’re still The Item, us.”
“Here’s a notion; say
a guy like me had lit your screen
with what could be from what had been,
say Britney’s exit was au fait,
what then, O ex?”
“Fair question, Slime!
Though guys like you are always greasy
And guys like mine must keep me busy,
I’d find for you a little time—