Dear Matchmaking Powers up above,
It’s not for me to meddle in your plan,
Or try to tell you who I’m meant to have,
But send me Jenny Agutter if you can.
It was in The Railway Children long ago
She first aroused my tenderness of heart.
Then Walkabout offered a glimpse or two
That aroused me in quite another part.
But Equus was the clincher, I would say:
That so gorgeous and intelligent a girl
Could be so sweet to such a misfit boy
Set all my deepest feelings in a whirl.
The proof that her tolerance ran deep
Was clear when American Werewolf came.
You could even be a howling lycanthrope
And she would stay your girlfriend all the same.
I’m not exactly youthful any more,
So if you think of granting my request
Remember that there isn’t time to spare
And a speedy delivery would be best.
So I bring this petition to a close
With just a final point before I’m done.
Be great if you could send her to me please
In the green tunic straight from Logan’s Run.