Condensing Jane Pride and Prejudice Poor Elizabeth Bennet, a honey Who is pretty and witty and sunny,     Really fancies rich Darcy     Who acts pretty arsy. She wins him and marries the money.   Persuasion Her father’s a terrible prick And her sisters both make you quite sick.      How we suffer for Anne      Who rejected her man When she ought to have snapped him up quick.   Sense and Sensibility Marianne, a romantic confessed, With a sister who knows she knows best,      Has to practically croak      And then marry…