John Whitworth: Two Poems

On the House Clean out those awkward places with a feather. Stun rampant ferrets with a cricket bat. Hang up banana skins to tell the weather. Shine up your parquet floors with bacon fat. Stag beetles make a tasty breakfast snack. Use sellotape to make a sticking plaster. Cold porridge fills up most unwanted cracks. Dynamite in the house invites disaster. Old newspapers will make a pair of pants. Too hot a curry interrupts your slumber. Syrup of figs discourages red ants. Roll back the carpet when you do the rhumba. Should you expect a hippogriff for luncheon A rolling…

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