We start to say goodbye in ways unvoiced but understood eyes holding in the night light above the cot family photos placed in frames and wallets your toes down in push up position between my ankles or me on top arched back, plum-darks thrust out and aching to feel your hands. At the boarding gate, your uniform crease-perfect, I straighten your tie and press a cheek to yours. A pact to keep we walk away and don’t look back.