Nobel-esse Oblige

Philippa Martyr is unwell.

This week’s contribution was co-opted from Ainu Campbell-Barracks, ebullient Sydney socialite, environmental crusader, and regular Quadrant Online reader:

Wow! Barack Obama has won the Nobel Peace Prize! Gosh, I mean that one really came out of nowhere, didn’t it? I think it’s just fantastic that he’s won it; I mean, he’s done so much for world peace, like … well, I just think it’s great, that’s all, and he really deserves it for his commitment to … and then there was his … but remember how he did that world tour before he was elected President? I mean, that just did so much good, and so I really think his contribution to world peace is pretty damn amazing, actually. 

And to think he’s only the third serving US President to win the Nobel Peace Prize! Wow! I mean, that in itself shows how much he must deserve it, because of all he’s done for world peace. And how fantastic to be following in the footsteps of Teddy Roosevelt, who was the first winner as a US serving President – now he, of course, was a really great president because of his huge contribution to world peace, when he … didn’t he do something in the Philippines? Anyway, whatever it was, it was really a major contribution, or else he wouldn’t have won the Nobel Peace Prize for it, would he? I mean, there’s all that stuff about big game hunting, but the times were different then, and anyway, he was a Democrat too, like Obama, and like his son Franklin Roosevelt.

And Woodrow Wilson. Well. There was a peace-loving man, and no mistake. I mean, he was such a major contributor to world peace for decades, really, and he clearly acknowledged some pretty fundamental feminist principles when he let his wife run the country instead of him. So ahead of his time. And the Treaty of Versailles – I mean, there just wouldn’t have been any world peace in our time without Woodrow Wilson. And the League of Nations, the first United Nations organisation, and just like the UN today, it’s always put the cause of world peace above any other objective. And didn’t the League of Nations do such a good job, really, and we’d never have been able to have the United Nations without it, and he was a Democrat too, like Obama. 

I think the Democrats have that real commitment to world peace, you know, because after all, Franklin Roosevelt helped end the Second World War just by giving away some simple concessions to Russia, and that sorted everything out, really. It’s just such a pity Harry Truman had to win the next US election, because he was so anti-world peace and killed millions of people by dropping atomic bombs and using nuclear weapons. Thank goodness he wasn’t a Democrat. The Republicans – well, I mean, what have they ever done for world peace? All people ever do when they’re in charge is just make money. 

So really, I think it’s just great that Obama has won the Nobel Peace Prize. I mean, who else could they have given it to? That lady in Burma’s already got one, and anyway, what’s she ever done, apart from be the elected president of her country and under house arrest for fifteen years? And the Dalai Lama’s got one already, and anyway, he’s so Nineties, and Obama won’t meet with him either, which just confirms that he’s got nothing to say about world peace. China’s a very peaceful country, really, when you think about it, and those Olympics were just gorgeous, so it’s such a shame their president got passed over for it this year. 

Still, never mind. There’s always next year! 


NOTE: Ms Ainu Campbell-Barracks is channelled exclusively for Quadrant Online by Dr Philippa Martyr.

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