The Larkin Manifesto

Politicians are turning to literature to shore up their credibility

Elect me! I am Unsuccess.

Elect me! I will give you less.

The misery of Adam’s curse

Will be immeasurably worse.

You would be foolish to suppose

That any measure I propose

To ameliorate your children’s lot

Will come to pass, for it will not.

Our country’s future is confusion.

All hopes of growth are an illusion.

Take courage! Drain the bitter cup.

I promise taxes will go up.

Elect me! I will bring you grief,

The withered rose, the shrivelled leaf.

The Torch of Freedom burned to ash,

And Britain sold for foreign cash.

John Whitworth

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