I wake in the motel room. At first I’m not sure where I am and feel a strange mixture of elation and loneliness. I know the bus is waiting so I put my few things together, pack my bag and go outside. It’s a bright, steely grey morning. As I’m getting on the bus, the recurring thought—What’s the point? What’s the point in making this effort, in anything we do; we’re all going to die—comes. It comes when things are a bit hard; hard, but not impossible or overwhelming—then the thoughts are different. The bus, when everyone has been counted,…

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