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October 19th 2012 print

Ainu Campbell-Barracks

Australia comes of age, like really

Australia bags a seat on the  Security Council! Surely this is our nation's greatest achievement since the stump-jump plough


Gosh! Australia on the UN Security Council! At last! It’s like a dream come true. I mean, Bob Carr is of course exactly right – $25 million is nothing to pay for something as fabulous as this, and it’s going to last two whole years.


This is a much, much better use of taxpayers’ money than that silly FIFA World Cup bid – I mean, fancy dropping $45 million on something where a small group of men get to argue with each other over a ball. So out of proportion.

Australia is now really part of the global scene as an important contributor to world affairs. I mean, Greece has its unelected Prime Minister, and we have our unelected Foreign Minister. France has fabulous cheese; we have our internationally-competitive niche-market organic cheese industry.  The IMF has its exciting, sexy Dominic Strauss-Kahn; we have our daring and boundary-pushing Peter Slipper. Germany has a brave, no-nonsense, budget-balancing female Chancellor; we have Julia Gillard. Need I say more?

And just look at all the good Wayne Swan’s been doing overseas, with his courageous attacks on that utterly drab Tea Pickers Party that’s trying to become the US President (as if!), and his brilliant advice to the EU on financial management, with Australia as a model of excellence. He’s really every bit as dreamy as Joe Biden! I’m sure that’s what helped swing our vote to join the UN Security Council; how could they say no to a country that’s really doing something in the world today?

So really, all those negative people should just take a long hard look at themselves and ask the really hard questions: where else on earth could we have gotten a two-year seat for only $25 million? They don’t just grow on trees, you know.

Ainu Campbell-Barracks is well-known to Quadrant readers as an ebullient Sydney socialite and environmental crusader. She lives on the North Shore with partner Derryn and their two children Jake and India