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May 04th 2009 print

Michael Connor

Rudd writes to Quadrant!

We too were “surprised and gratified” when we found the Prime Minister had written to us with an exciting new plan for fixing the economy.

We too were “surprised and gratified” when we found the Prime Minister had written to us with an exciting new plan for fixing the economy.

Of course, he didn’t sign his communication with his real name but who could miss the unmistakable Rudd prose style? Or his typically, breathtakingly bold economic idea?

Kind Attention Pls,

I am the Bill and Exchange manager of a prime Bank in Cote d’Ivoire. I am writing to seek your cooperation over this business deal.

In my Department, I discovered an abandoned sum of (US$ 12 Million) In an account that belongs to one of our foreign customers who died along with his entire family in a plane crash that took place in Kenya, a National of your country and contractor with an oil servicing company.

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin or business associate to come and claim his money because it cannot be released unless somebody applies for it as next of kin or business associate to the deceased as indicated in banking guidelines but unfortunately, all his supposed next of kin died along with him at the plane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim. You can read more about the crash on visiting this site [which unfortunately turned out not to exist].

It is therefore upon this discovery that I now decided to make this business proposal to you, to release the money to your account as the next of kin or business associate.

The Banking law and guideline stipulates that if such money remains dormant after 8 years, will be transferred into the Bank treasury as unclaimed fund. all I require is your honest cooperation as a foreign citizen to enable us see this deal through. I guarantee this will be executed under all legitimate arrangement that will protect from any breach of law. I will like us to share this money mutually on two equal halves between me and you.

I will indulge you at this point to understand that this is privileged information and must be strictly confidential. If you can handle this with me, reach me for more details.

Thanks.

Kosses Lumoh.