I was the boy killed Jack the Ripper, I was the girl wrote Shakespeare’s plays, I was the cook wood-smoked a kipper,      Back in the olden days, Back in the olden days of yore, The golden, olden days before. I was the brainbox tutored Plato, I was the Pharaoh dammed the Nile, I was the cook deep-fried potato,      I was the crocodile Swallowed the hand of Captain Hook, Starred in the movie, wrote the book. I was the lover lovebit Venus, I was the spy bugged Churchill’s car, I was the cook hoiked Hitler’s penis      Out of…