I prefer … serious illness to surprises computers to my brother reading car number plates to Christmas morning straight lines submerging my ears in a warm bath to waterslides deep fat fryers to matchbox cars torture to haircuts libraries to birthday parties standing ankle-deep in ocean tenpin bowling to climbing trees looking at things out of the corner of my eye Sonic the Hedgehog to family time death to dentist visits my mother with her glasses off plastic wheelie bins to petting zoos not to see my school friends outside of school cricket statistics to Toy Story chewing clothes-pegs to…