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December 01st 2007 print

John Whitworth

The Difference

The Difference

The difference between men and women is like that between animals and plants.
—G.W.F. Hegel

Free men are Kings of men and women are their Queens,
It’s like poetry and daffodils, like sausages and beans,
But, when two ride out together, then there’s one must ride behind,
So, though Justice is a woman, she is blind, blind, blind.
Men want cars and football. Women want romance.
Men are like animals. Women are like plants.

The King was in the counting house, counting out his money,
The Queen was in the parlour, eating bread and honey.
The money buys the honey but it buys a whole lot more,
For honey keeps a woman sweet and that’s what honey’s for.
Men want sex and alcohol. Women want to dance.
Men are like animals. Women are like plants.

The King was on the battlefield directing all his battles.
The Queen was at the big parade, parading all his chattels.
The Queen was at the big parade applauding her applause:
HURRAH-HURRAH-HURRAH for the all boys who win the wars.
Men want power and politics. Women want nuance.
Men are like animals. Women are like plants.

The King was in the bedroom telling fortunes to the Queen:
Big Men and Little Women that’s the way it’s always been.
The Big Men get to organise the Little Women’s lives
And machete-wielding persons kill their next-door neighbours’ wives.
Men are in the driving seat, women in a trance.
Men are like animals. Women are like plants.

There’s history and herstory but they are not the same.
When the man is up and doing then the woman gets the blame.
She was poor but she was honest, victim of a rich man’s whim.
When the in-laws make the outlaws then the outlook’s pretty grim.
Men want this and this and this. Women want a chance.
Men are like animals. Women are like plants.

John Whitworth